Stop Bad Days From Happening
Do you ever get that feeling that you're back in school and finals are looming around the corner? I feel like I'm being tested right now, and I'm working on my final exam. My flamingo project and other goals are weighing heavily on my shoulders as I strive to actually make shit happen, instead of living on the false promise of tomorrow. Finally forcing yourself to live up to your own expectations is scary and something I'm dealing with on a daily basis.
Today was shaping up to be a bad day around 11:30 this morning. I'd already slept in too late, binge watched too many episodes on Netflix, and ate too much food. To top it off, I tried to take my dog to a dog park to run around and proceeded to go to a memorial park...aka a cemetery, where they were preparing for a funeral, and then get lost for 20 minutes on some road off the highway.
I seriously just wanted to say screw it and go home to wallow in more Netflix and food. And honestly, I probably would have had I not taken a wrong turn and ended up at a nice little park instead of going home. As I sat in the parking lot of that park with Cloe sitting with such content in the seat next to me, I took in the moment. I knew I had a choice to make. I could either label this a bad day and go home, or I could walk the dog, enjoy the pretty landscape, and call my mom like I had planned.
I thought about all the promises I made myself. All the ways I've said I'm going to actually starting living my dreams and telling the truth. I knew that I could go home and take down the flamingo post. I could go apply for a job doing something I hate and feel like I was throwing my life away. But I have this one beautiful chance in front of me right now. I have the opportunity to create, to be inspired, and to finally do something I'm passionate about.
So I got out of the damn car and walked the dog. I called my mom and told her I wasn't going to allow myself to have a bad day. I kept working on this project.
I'd like to tell you the rest of my day was all sunshine, rainbows, and unicorn frappuccinos, but I had quite a few sucky moments the rest of the day. But each time I found myself on the downward spiral into black thoughts and gross feelings, I remembered that I decided I wasn't going to have a bad day and made sure my next choice was a better one.
As this day comes to an end, I can't say it was the day I envisioned for myself. But I do know that I'm capable of putting in the hard work and won't always go running scared. I know that I won't let myself be the victim of a bad day.
If you get lost in a cemetery when a funeral is going on, be grateful that you're lost in your car with your dog as your co-pilot and not in a coffin about to buried in the ground.